Content at the moment.
Lot of changes in my life coming up in the next few months.
I was down twenty pounds this month but the last couple of weeks hitting the weights hard I’m up five. But I’m stronger. At work this week I picked up two paper boxes, one in each arm. Each has ten stacks of paper and each stack is twenty pounds. I PUT 200 POUNDS ABOVE MY HEAD IN EACH HAND. 400 POUNDS!
Probably the strongest I’ve ever been. It’s nuts. I need to lose about 5% more body fat to be in optimal fighting condition. Once there I can be more confident in my abilities and capabilities when I fight. If only my bones would strengthen as well. If the muscle is strong the bone will be protected.
I’m content with my life and where I’m at.
And yet again I tell her goodbye.
I’m so lost.
Sick of the tears.
Sick of falling for the right person at the wrong time.
It will be ok.
I’ll just keep telling myself that.
Hopefully one day I’ll believe it.
Until then I don’t think the tears will stop.
I have been thinking a lot about my life. All my ups and downs and I have come to the conclusion that I need to write a book about my life. I’m not sure though.
Who would read it? My parents? Ya right.
They’ve never supported me but that’s what the book would mainly be about.
I’m doing it.
Going to write an outline and think of some anecdotes from my life.
Sometimes I wish my life never existed.
1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
I think so. It’s possible she didn’t.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
I have and will not ever again. I’ll fuck one though.
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
Every fucking day of the year.
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
I try. Especially the hot ones.
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
Probably. But I’m not really dating anybody.
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
Adele- Someone Like You.
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Batman Tee and sweats.
8. How often do you listen to music?
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
I guess jeans.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012?
I hope so.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
A little bit of both but way more social.
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘B’?
Not to my recollection but for a few years in the early 2000s I was a whore so it could have happened.
13. What about ‘S’?
Again, I can’t remember.
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
I used. Then I realized they only do it out of jealousy.
16. Are you going out of town soon?
Does going insane count?
17. When was the last time you cried? A few hours ago, a few minutes ago, etc. Its been a shitty day.
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
Yes, and I meant it but I don’t know if they did.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
Of course. That’s my homie.
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
My cousin’s mom came over for dinner today and talked to me about my family. I hate my family and want nothing to with them after the way I was treated.
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
Well I do it so I hope so.
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
Fuck dating. I’m just having a good time from now on.
24. What are you sitting on right now?
A beat up old leather computer chair.
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
Who the fuck hasn’t?
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
A really awesome girl who I’m having doubts about.
28. Do you get a lot of colds?
I’m a walking sinus problem.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
30. Does anyone hate you?
I know for a fact that there are at least 3 people who hate me.
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
Empty and full. Have to keep an emergency stash in case the zombies attack.
32. Do you like watching scary movies?
33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
This past year up to now.
35. Did you have a dream last night?
I always dream.
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
A few minutes ago when I was putting my one year old niece to sleep in my arms.
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
I gave up on marriage. Have fun, fuck, and well have fun.
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
I hope so.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
I doubt it.
40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
As a matter of fact it was damned decent.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
I hope to god I get some pussy in the next 48 hours.
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
Yes but then they lost me.
44. What’s the best part about school?
Sleeping in class.
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
I used to.
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
All the time.
48. Were you single over the last summer?
I don’t remember. I think I was.
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
Nothing in my life was as it was 2 months ago let alone 2 years.
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Smoking a bowl.
What if aliens did notice that we had the potential to start causing a serious disruption in the universe and decided to “take action.” Totally a plausible idea and not to mention totally frightening. Our reality as we know it would be completely turned upside down, not to mention it would be beyond fascinating at the same time. That would be a lot to take in thats for sure…